as you can see i have stopped writing for quite some time now and its doing me good. it made me stop thinking about my life, about what i am doing, about me. it enabled me to wake up each morning, go to work, go home, sleep, and do it all over again the next day.
it made me stopped thinking and reflecting and doubting. it stopped me from thinking whether i am doing what i want to do, whether i am doing the right thing that would enable me to do what i want to do in the future. it stopped me from acknowledging what i am doing today and how it would affect how my life will turn out in the future.
not writing made me not think, which made me do what i need to do, to earn what i need to earn, to buy what i need to buy, to forget what i need not to forget in order to live the life that i want to live.
if its confusing, its intentional. i need to confuse myself. i need to muddy the waters. i need to complicate things. i need to not look at how simple life can be. because a simple life will not pay bills, buy me things, and enable me to deny the truth about happiness.
that happiness is as simple as a breeze blowing against my face, a sunflower facing the sun, a popsicle melting in my tongue.
that happiness does not require deadlines, key performance index bullshits, and money.
yes people, happiness does not require money.
because if it did, then our prehistoric ancestors were one depressed bunch.
but of course we will just shrugged this simple fundamental truth aside. we do not need to face it. not at this moment when the bills are piling up, a ton of christmas gifts to buy, and ourselves to keep entertained and thus distracted so that we will keep working, and working, and working.