that’s what I am now:


like a lake undisturbed by even the smallest ripple,


the flat green line on a heart monitor,


sometimes the best way to spend the rest of your life is to stretch out on the couch and watch endless television.

tears, laughs, sorrows and joys all end with the commercials.

when you have experienced tremendous pain,

found the strength to get up and heal yourself,

the last thing you want to do is to risk having that pain again inside of you.

trust me,

the idea of lying in bed all day,

of staying at home all warm and safe,

of being placid and unaffected,

becomes the most tempting thing to do.

building a cocoon to ward off potential hurts.

a vaccine for disappointments.


no joy. but more importantly, no pain.


have you tried smoothing out the wrinkles from a crumpled paper?

pretty damn hard task.

if and when you have succeeded in doing so, you would guard the paper with all your life from being crumpled again.

trust me.


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