jump jump jump
have you ever experienced running-diving into a swimming pool with your friends,
all at the same time,
into the cold water,
only to realize that youre the only one who made the jump,
and they, dry and warm at the poolside, are all laughing at you for actually going through with it?
of actually believing that they would jump too?
and get themselves cold and wet?
but i know how it must feel
i know how it feels to be alone in mid-air
to make that jump,
and to look back as i fall and see my supposed jump-companion still firmly standing on solid ground,
i know how it feels to be wading in cold water,
looking up and waiting, hoping, wishing, for another body to splash into the welcoming water
i know how it feels to take a risk for somebody who is not willing to take the same risk for me
its like holding hands,
running towards the pool,
making the jump,
and feeling at the last moment,
the untangling of fingers,
the widening space between palms,
and the sudden weightlesness of my hand which a second ago was holding something worth jumping for,
i know how it feels,
it feels cold,
it feels empty,
it feels like this.