left behind

last friday i went to a wake of a former professor

an atheist (or so he claimed) in a church

colleagues and students delivering eulogies the deceased cannot anymore hear

videoclips played amidst his closed eyelids.

one wonders why we do the things we do when someone dies

why we feel the need to come together with the remains 

why we need to prepare speeches proclaiming the goodness of the dead

painstakingly create a video presentation of the memories he left behind

when the person we are doing all these things for are beyond speeches, video clips, and tears

when the person is somewhere we cannot even begin to fathom or imagine

if we are really going to be realistic and sensible about it what we do for the dead are just a waste of time

unless of course we really do it for ourselves

the coming together

the speeches

all the preparations

are for us, for those who are left behind

maybe we need these things

maybe we need to come together to remind us of life

that the sharing of memories, the testaments of good deeds, the accounts of how the dead affected us remind us that we did live, we did share something

that with the walls we painstakingly build around us, we are connected, however flimsily by a person

and with that flimsy connection vanishing into the unknown, we get together to find other ways of connecting

reminiscing first about the deceased, sharing memories in order to build the foundation from a common ground

then moving on to establish or reestablish whatever we have lost with his passing

the wake, the funeral, the programs

these are really for us

a sort of life vest to help us stay afloat until the next boat comes for us.

7 Responses to “left behind”

  1. innocent bystander Says:

    you’ll find, soon enough, when the light from the projector is finally turned off, when the tears are finally dry and the haunting smell of an expired candle is finally drifted off into the unreachable atmosphere, that this feast of memories may be the best celebration of one who fades from our eyes and settles into our hearts…

    RIP FG…

  2. armedlittleboy Says:

    too bad the celebrant is unable to participate with the celebration

  3. innocent bystander Says:

    quite the comic, are we?

    hala, mumu

  4. armedlittleboy Says:

    geeezzz

    u dont need to announce your presence

  5. innocent bystander Says:

    Please return that joke to the lost and found booth.

    Willie Revillame is looking for it.

  6. armedlittleboy Says:

    quite the funny ass we are huh?

    dont worry you’ll be in the lost section soon

    haha

  7. innocent bystander Says:

    funny ass my ass… haha…

    found

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