ready to jump
when a person jumps off a building, or a cliff, or a bridge, or a billboard (is this a phenomena specific to this country?) where does he look at the moment when his feet leave the safety of the solid ground?
does he look downwards and imagine how his body would splatter, visualizing the pattern his blood would form as it spread on the pavement and hear how his bones would scream upon meeting the earth?
or does he look around him, taking in the world as seen from such heights, perceiving as much as possible the world that he will leave behind?
or will he look up, trying to discern against the clouds a glimmer of understanding for his actions, a begging to be accepted for the fall he would take and the peace he would attain?
i believe he would not look anywhere but within
he would close his eyes
take a deep breath
and draw whatever strength he has, to make that final fall
For in any endings, whether its extinguishing life or severing ties
whether its shifting paths or turning our backs on possibilities that refuse to materialize
closing our eyes helps us realize that with all the complications and consequences our decisions may wrought to other people , in the end we have to do it for ourselves
that however painful our decision of ending a part of us maybe for others
we have to make that jump
we have to kill ourselves
end who we are now
and welcome who we can be