buddhist reverie

Im into  Buddhism lately

Well actually Ive been into Buddhism for some years now

I first started reading about it when my lola was in the brink of death

My lola is an important aspect of my life because she practically raised me up while my mother is busy earning for our future (dont ask what my father is doing)

thus it was quite hard for me to see her slipping away and leaving me alone forever

As a natural reaction, i tried to cope with the inevitable and by chance came across a book on Buddhism

And one of the things I have read in that book is Buddhism’s insistence on the impermanence of everything

a constant state of change and death (samsara)

In fact, there is no I in it, there is no concept of a permanent personality. instead a person is a flow of being, subject to constant physical and psychological change which continues through life and beyond death

to make it short, everything ends, everything changes, nothing is permanent

now common sense tells us that if everything ends, and no one can do anything about it, why resist it? why hold on to things? why not just let go and enjoy the here and now, and at the moment when the here and now slips into the what have been, there is a smooth and calm acceptance of its reality

that mindset made me accept my lola’s physical death quite easily and peacefully

BUT

sometimes I wonder if my letting go, my practice of not holding on, makes me susceptible to brief stop-overs of people i would have preferred to stay with me for a good amount of time

maybe if i just held on to them, they would have stayed

maybe what made them flow so quickly is the absence of any resistance from me of their leaving

maybe what they are just waiting for, is for me to show some kind of need for them to stay

but then, maybe not

 i mean, if theyre going to leave anyway, they might as well leave when the roots are still shallow (huh? bkt may roots?)

easier to uproot, quicker to mend

5 Responses to “buddhist reverie”

  1. Marwin… Wala lang… I can relate to this very much… Fluidity. But what’s up with stability, di ba? Oh well…

  2. armedlittleboy Says:

    yeah

    sometimes though I crave to just stay put and stand still

    too much change in too short a time tends to make us reel and reach out for something or someone to anchor us

  3. So true… Sometimes, it’s better to just wait and let things settle first before doing anything. Because we get so overwhelmed and the tendency is really to reach out and cling on to the first anchor we could get our hands into. Without much mindfulness and processing.

  4. Anonymous Says:

    that is so true

    drowning people tend to clutch on to those who is trying to rescue them that both of them drown in the process

    anyway jasmine is sooo having fun with our exchange

    hmp

  5. ehehehe… i’m sure.😛 oy, palitan n’yo na blog ko sa links n’yo on your blogs… (marwin, fatty, ewf, janey, riz, jasmine, everyone there!) use my msn spaces na lang, it’s the one i maintain talaga.

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